Thankful (:

Hi everybodyyyyy.

I'm back again ! And it's because my heart is so overwhelmed by so many things I just needed somewhere to spill everything out and also to share with you guys the happenings in my life recently (:

Thursday I received my JAE results and it was just like mehhhhh okayyyyy whateverrrrr. Still deciding if I should go for that. A lot of reasons to not go for that and a lot of reasons to go for that as well. How leh ? I'm stuck. But, prayer would help.

And then, Friday, received my JPSAE results and I was happy ????? Because, I think I would most probably go for that. Going to pray first before deciding. Then, accompanied my mum all the way to bishan for her medical appt. Shopped around that area for awhile before heading back to tampines mall kopitiam for dinner. We both had beef noodles and okok la it was not bad. Then went to bank in my cheque before going for cell ! I'm really starting to enjoy cell because most of us are starting to share what's truly in our hearts. On Friday, I shared something that was bothering me alot and I told myself that no, I can't cry because I am gonna look so bad and confirm paiseh, But what to do, cannot handle so I teared. Almost broke down but I tried my best to hold it in and wah lucky never. Ader also shared her troubles and there were tears shed as well. To me, this is what I love. To see my cellmates sharing what they keep deep in their hearts and to even see them cry infront of me. This shows me that they're willing to share and are not afraid to let everyone see their dark side. Hahaha both Ader and I said "Yall don't judge me okay if I cry." Quite funny though. And actually I was afraid I would take up a lot of time in sharing but they all told me to go ahead and take as much time as I need. After everyone shared, we went into a time of worship and then prayer, The prayer part was really good. People prayed for me and I prayed for them as well. After awhile, we just sat down and started having heart to heart talk. A few of us only. And that was when I made a few important decisions ( along with the help of my cellmates ) and I'm glad I did ^^ Then walked quite far to this coffeeshop for supper. I WAS SO HAPPY BECAUSE MY DAD ALLOWED ME TO GO FOR SUPPER. Hahaha the hokkien mee was G O O D. Ader and I also ordered oyster omelette to share and I was like "I don't eat the oyster I only like the egg leh." Then she was like "Eh ! Me too !" And we both started laughing. Ordering OYSTER omelette without OYSTER ???? Quite funny right. So we decided to give the oysters to the rest. Hahaha Ryan also treated us drinks and we wanted to pay him back but he said "The price has been paid." HAHAHA and we laughed. ( only some people will get it ) Headed home after supper and reached home about 12 plus ??? Then had a small htht with my mum. Super thankful for her though, because I know that she will always be there for me and ready to give me advice whenever I need.

And then comes SATURDAY ! The cell decided to wear checks and denim so yup ! Was late for worship together with Angela but still, worship was good. The line that we heard when we walked in was "I don't wanna talk about any other lover. You're the only one and there will be no other for me now, no other for me now." When I heard this, I was like W O A H. Relatable much ???? Hahahah word was good too ! 'When restlessness and longing comes knocking on your door, turn to God.' Yesssss, indeed. Have been flipping the bible more recently now and I'm glad I did. Many times I've wanted to commit suicide or have bad/ungodly thoughts but I turn to the bible and tada, God saves. Worship after word was even better. The presence of the Lord was just so........ I have no idea how to describe, You can literally feel it. And before I knew it, I started crying and crying and crying. God touched my heart and this was what He said to me 'You've been shutting your heart from me and now it's open and I can finally do my work in you.' Indeed, He has been pursuing me but I've been running away from Him and pursuing other things that I shouldn't be pursuing. Yesterday ( Saturday ), God has touched me again and I am gonna make a change. It's not gonna be easy, in fact, it's gonna be super tough, but I am willing to try and do whatever I can. Left the worship centre feeling so amazed and touched by His never ending grace and love for me. It's like WHERE CAN I EVER FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME SO MUCH OTHER THAN GOD ? Literally, nowhere. I don't even think my future husband can. I'm such a sinner, time and time again I've ran away from Him and did stuff that's just SO BAD. But He never fails to bring me back to Him again and never fails to embrace me when I'm at my worst. Literally, thank God. Really hope that every week's worship will just be as good, I need it. Hahaha and then went to Basil Inn, a Thai restaurant for dinner ! The food was good, especially the mango sticky rice. We played heads up during dinner and I think we were pretty loud. Public nuisance but hey, it was fun ! Edna chose the animal category and when the word 'pony' came up, Ben sang "MY LITTLE _______ ???" so loudly, the rest of us girls started laughing cos he's a guy and normally it would be girls who would watch my little pony and get excited over it but instead, he was the one that was so excited ????? Super funny la xD And I was super touched when Tamilyn told me this "I didn't have a chance to tell you this last week but regarding to what you shared last week, I'm happy you flipped to the bible and didn't commit  suicide because if you did, I wouldn't have met you. And you are very pretty ! Plus if you committed suicide, I believe that ML30 would miss you a lot so I'm happy that you didn't." When I heard what she said, I almost cried because wow, that really touched my heart (': Hahahah then we decided to go to mac because Angela and Carlynne wanted more food so YESSSSS. Headed home together with Angela and Dillon after that (: It's been a really blessed day for me and I'm more than thankful (':

Cried the hardest and the most I've cried ever in this week and my eyes are really tired already. NO MORE CRYING over stupid stuff because it's definitely NOT WORTH IT. Gonna spend my time on stuff that are worth my time. And also, can't wait to bake for Valentines' Day ! ^^ No boyfriend this Valentines' Day but HAHAHA not gonna let that ruin my day because I am gonna have the best dates ever !!!!!!! :D

'I don't wanna talk about any other lover. You're the only one and there will be no other for me now, no other for me now.' ----> I will always have this line in my mind :p

Hehehehe okok that's all for this one, bye bye ^^