Thankful (:

Hi everybodyyyyy.

I'm back again ! And it's because my heart is so overwhelmed by so many things I just needed somewhere to spill everything out and also to share with you guys the happenings in my life recently (:

Thursday I received my JAE results and it was just like mehhhhh okayyyyy whateverrrrr. Still deciding if I should go for that. A lot of reasons to not go for that and a lot of reasons to go for that as well. How leh ? I'm stuck. But, prayer would help.

And then, Friday, received my JPSAE results and I was happy ????? Because, I think I would most probably go for that. Going to pray first before deciding. Then, accompanied my mum all the way to bishan for her medical appt. Shopped around that area for awhile before heading back to tampines mall kopitiam for dinner. We both had beef noodles and okok la it was not bad. Then went to bank in my cheque before going for cell ! I'm really starting to enjoy cell because most of us are starting to share what's truly in our hearts. On Friday, I shared something that was bothering me alot and I told myself that no, I can't cry because I am gonna look so bad and confirm paiseh, But what to do, cannot handle so I teared. Almost broke down but I tried my best to hold it in and wah lucky never. Ader also shared her troubles and there were tears shed as well. To me, this is what I love. To see my cellmates sharing what they keep deep in their hearts and to even see them cry infront of me. This shows me that they're willing to share and are not afraid to let everyone see their dark side. Hahaha both Ader and I said "Yall don't judge me okay if I cry." Quite funny though. And actually I was afraid I would take up a lot of time in sharing but they all told me to go ahead and take as much time as I need. After everyone shared, we went into a time of worship and then prayer, The prayer part was really good. People prayed for me and I prayed for them as well. After awhile, we just sat down and started having heart to heart talk. A few of us only. And that was when I made a few important decisions ( along with the help of my cellmates ) and I'm glad I did ^^ Then walked quite far to this coffeeshop for supper. I WAS SO HAPPY BECAUSE MY DAD ALLOWED ME TO GO FOR SUPPER. Hahaha the hokkien mee was G O O D. Ader and I also ordered oyster omelette to share and I was like "I don't eat the oyster I only like the egg leh." Then she was like "Eh ! Me too !" And we both started laughing. Ordering OYSTER omelette without OYSTER ???? Quite funny right. So we decided to give the oysters to the rest. Hahaha Ryan also treated us drinks and we wanted to pay him back but he said "The price has been paid." HAHAHA and we laughed. ( only some people will get it ) Headed home after supper and reached home about 12 plus ??? Then had a small htht with my mum. Super thankful for her though, because I know that she will always be there for me and ready to give me advice whenever I need.

And then comes SATURDAY ! The cell decided to wear checks and denim so yup ! Was late for worship together with Angela but still, worship was good. The line that we heard when we walked in was "I don't wanna talk about any other lover. You're the only one and there will be no other for me now, no other for me now." When I heard this, I was like W O A H. Relatable much ???? Hahahah word was good too ! 'When restlessness and longing comes knocking on your door, turn to God.' Yesssss, indeed. Have been flipping the bible more recently now and I'm glad I did. Many times I've wanted to commit suicide or have bad/ungodly thoughts but I turn to the bible and tada, God saves. Worship after word was even better. The presence of the Lord was just so........ I have no idea how to describe, You can literally feel it. And before I knew it, I started crying and crying and crying. God touched my heart and this was what He said to me 'You've been shutting your heart from me and now it's open and I can finally do my work in you.' Indeed, He has been pursuing me but I've been running away from Him and pursuing other things that I shouldn't be pursuing. Yesterday ( Saturday ), God has touched me again and I am gonna make a change. It's not gonna be easy, in fact, it's gonna be super tough, but I am willing to try and do whatever I can. Left the worship centre feeling so amazed and touched by His never ending grace and love for me. It's like WHERE CAN I EVER FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME SO MUCH OTHER THAN GOD ? Literally, nowhere. I don't even think my future husband can. I'm such a sinner, time and time again I've ran away from Him and did stuff that's just SO BAD. But He never fails to bring me back to Him again and never fails to embrace me when I'm at my worst. Literally, thank God. Really hope that every week's worship will just be as good, I need it. Hahaha and then went to Basil Inn, a Thai restaurant for dinner ! The food was good, especially the mango sticky rice. We played heads up during dinner and I think we were pretty loud. Public nuisance but hey, it was fun ! Edna chose the animal category and when the word 'pony' came up, Ben sang "MY LITTLE _______ ???" so loudly, the rest of us girls started laughing cos he's a guy and normally it would be girls who would watch my little pony and get excited over it but instead, he was the one that was so excited ????? Super funny la xD And I was super touched when Tamilyn told me this "I didn't have a chance to tell you this last week but regarding to what you shared last week, I'm happy you flipped to the bible and didn't commit  suicide because if you did, I wouldn't have met you. And you are very pretty ! Plus if you committed suicide, I believe that ML30 would miss you a lot so I'm happy that you didn't." When I heard what she said, I almost cried because wow, that really touched my heart (': Hahahah then we decided to go to mac because Angela and Carlynne wanted more food so YESSSSS. Headed home together with Angela and Dillon after that (: It's been a really blessed day for me and I'm more than thankful (':

Cried the hardest and the most I've cried ever in this week and my eyes are really tired already. NO MORE CRYING over stupid stuff because it's definitely NOT WORTH IT. Gonna spend my time on stuff that are worth my time. And also, can't wait to bake for Valentines' Day ! ^^ No boyfriend this Valentines' Day but HAHAHA not gonna let that ruin my day because I am gonna have the best dates ever !!!!!!! :D

'I don't wanna talk about any other lover. You're the only one and there will be no other for me now, no other for me now.' ----> I will always have this line in my mind :p

Hehehehe okok that's all for this one, bye bye ^^

Hellu.

Hello everyone ^^

It's like 3:35am now and I'm still awake. Actually wanted to go sleep already but decided to accompany my mum since she has to do up her assignment by tonight so yeah. While accompanying her, I might as well just blog so yes here I am !

So basically today I went over to Francesca's house to have lunch and also to play with her baby brother ! Lunch was good though, we had pasta prepare by her maid and it was yummy ! (: Then played with baby Don for awhile before we decided to watch a movie ! Couldn't decide what to watch at first but after scrolling through the different movies, we decided to watch Safe Haven since Francesca said that it's a nice movie. Normally I would prefer to read the description of a movie first before watching it however for this one, I didn't. I did ask Francesca what the movie is about but she told me to just watch cos the show is quite interesting. And so yup, I watched. Turns out that I really enjoyed watching the movie and it's so cool ! At the romantic parts I just kept going 'awwww so cute' and couldn't stop smiling :3 Although at some parts, it was quite thrilling, I still enjoyed it ! The plot twist at the end was WOAH. Safe Haven is a really nice movie, you all should really watch it if you have the time (:

Talking about Safe Haven which is kind of a romance movie, I'm reminded of the movie calle The Vow which is one of my favourite romance movies ! Fireproof is super good as well ! Would really want to rewatch this movies if I have the time to ^^

Oh yeah, took a lot of selfies today as well ! It was so retarded though, but the lighting was really good so yeah why not right ! Hahaha but like, I should have played with baby Don more, He's really super cute and I would really wanna go play with him again :p

Anyway, results release is like next week. NEXT MONDAY !!!! Ahhh so fast can't believe it ! Praying that I'll be able to do well and at least get into my preferred course :3 Aiming for around 13-15 points although I keep thinking that I will get 10 points which is quite unrealistic ? :/ Just hope that I'll be happy with my results and not cry on Monday. And yes, I'm going back to school with my dyed hair. Found a way to hide my dip-dyed ends last night at 3am ! I'm sucha genius xD Oh wells, just gonna keep praying for my results and lift my results into God's hands for He has already planned my path ^^

Also, I'm really really super upset about one thing. I really absolutely hate it when I care for people and take one step further to ask if they're okay but yet they don't even seem appreciative at all. I mean like, I was just telling you how I feel about the entire situation, you replied as if like I'm against you. Well yeah of course right, you would feel like I'm against you because what I said was what your mum said. I mean it's true, I would understand if your mum didn't allow them to sleep over cos hello, you've only met them for 2 months and plus it's pretty impromptu. Plus, there's a girl staying over as well. ( one girl only ) I was just stating what I feel about this entire thing that you're upset about, not siding your mum and going against you and your reply was like...... Just that one sentence from you is enough to make me upset alr. I guess you're too caught up in that friendship that you don't even know what's right and what's wrong. I've been there before I understand. I was like that last time as well. That's why I'm trying to help but you don't even bother. It's as if now all you think about are those two friends and your life basically revolves around them and the rest of grungerawk eh ? I guess that's also part of the reason why we broke up. Well hello, please, at least I cared. At least I bothered to call you up at midnight just to make sure that you're fine. Aren't you the least bit thankful ? Because it sure doesn't seem like you are. Forget it man, if you're not gonna appreciate the things that I do for you as a friend then what's the point ? Sucks like hell when you care for someone as a friend but they don't freaking appreciate it.

That's all for this post. Have no idea what else to say alr cos I'm super upset. Ugh. Goodnight.

UPDATE (:

Hello all you humansssss !

How's everyone been ? My apologies for not blogging for so long cos I've been busy and I guess lazy as well ? Hehehe but don't worry, I have a lot of time now so I shall try my best to blog more often ! Decided to blog today because I'm transferring photos onto the laptop and it's boring to just stare and wait so I've decided to update my blog ! And this is gonna be quite a long one ? Will be an update about what has happened in my life ever since the last blog post all the way till now. Will try to recall as much as possible. ( using my instagram to recall and write hehehe )

So my last blog post was in May, so let's talk about June ! Starting off with Yiroon's birthday. On that day which was 13 June, a day before his actual birthday, we went to have Seoul Garden at downtown east with his friends and I remember he was so surprised when he opened his present. He was shocked because he never thought that I would get him a Man U jersey for his birthday. Should've recorded his reaction though. Hahaha hope he still wears the jersey :3

Then on 14 June, went to Malaysia for CAMP KADASH ! Had lots of fun with all the cheers and hyped up craziness every single day. Though my group was quiet cal-m and quiet ( not used to it cos I'm quite a crazy person ), I still enjoyed myself a lot. Still remembered the worship and it was soooo good. Faction war was super fun as well ! Enjoyed running like crazy to throw water bombs at others. Hahaha also remembered that there was one night, everyone would dispatch to their own cells and we would have cup noodles for supper tgt. The hot water wasn't working so Dillon, Angela I ran up to our own rooms to bring down our kettles to boil some water. We shared with other cells as well

hehehe. Overall, the camp was fun and I learnt a lot as well !

Still remember going to ECP with Yiroon to rollerblade and cycle ! Had so much fun though half the time it was raining and we had to just sit under the shelter. Went to have dinner at Jumbo after that and ate so much. The crab was soooo good though. LOVE IT. After we ate, we said hi to his grandfather and realised that it was raining so we had to wear raincoats and walk in the rain alllll the way to the bus stop which was pretty far. It was quite romantic to me though, walking in the rain hand in hand with the one you love. Had to run to the bus stop and his slippers broke. Still it was a great time spent (:

Cool or not

Candid :P

Then came 19 September, my birthday. Yiroon surprised me with an acoustic guitar that I've always wanted and I'm really thankful for that. Went to eat at Seoul Garden with the clique, Angela and Noreen then headed to open plaza where they then again surprised me with a cake ! Took some pictures and headed to watch my first ever NC16 movie with Yiroon (:

Group photo ! (:

Soon enough, Os was round the corner and before I knew it, it was 2 weeks to Os. I was like 'woah so fast'. Started studying like mad and grabbing hold of whatever time I had cos I knew there wasn't much time, Practiced lots of POA and revised all other subs as well. I guess I did whatever I could and went for every paper praying that I'll be able to do them. Honestly, I thought that the papers were doable if people actually studied for it. All the papers were okay for me except A Maths cos like my A Maths really sucks and I knew that there's no hope so I didn't gave much attention to that sub. Not gonna be including it in y L1R2B2 anyway :3 Hoping that I would get an A1 for POA, B3 for Maths, B3 for English, A2 for Chinese and B4 for Humans. That would be a total of 13 points, still ok la hor. Hahaha anyways, Os really went past super quick and before I knew it I was enjoying myself and getting my hair dyed already. Results is like next week though, quite nervous and just praying that I'll be able to do well and get the points that I deserve.

Then, comes prom. Should've bought a nicer dress though cos the dress I wore was like too plain and too simple ? Hahaha my heels were killing me though cos it was so high and my feet was hurting like mad. I should've done something to my hair though and also like more obvious with the makeup ? haha but oh wells it's over and I really had a lot of fun with the girls that night ^^

The Clique ^^

Yay group photo !!!

So it was a Sunday and I had been planning this surprise for quite long alr ? Initially the surprise was to buy adventure cove tickets then tell him that we're gonna go for a swim at tampines swimming complex but before that we would go to vivo since there's a big sale there. But upon reaching vivo, I would tell him that I've a surprise for him and blindfold him all the way to adventure cove where his friends would be there as well and we would have a fun day enjoying the rides and all. But in the end, cos at the time I didn't have money to buy the tics for both of us, I just settled for the sentosa plan. It still worked out and it was my first time in a bikini ! Not very confident of my body so at first I was quite reluctant to remove my top but still did in the end la (: just have to get used to it and it'll be fine ! However, it rained while we were enjoying ourselves and we had to find shelter. Then we had dinner at jpot at vivo city before going to slack at the top of vivo. Some things happened which made me really upset because I felt like whatever I did to surprise him was not was not appreciated but ah oh wells, that incident is over so shall just let it pass.

Candid lor

One of my fav photo of us (:

Michelle was scared :3

Next up is Illumi run ! Went for the run with French, Chuyao, Jam, Chunming and Yiroon. First ever illumi run and it was with the one that I loved. Really had a lot of fun although the illumi paint was kinda disgusting. We didn't really run though, we just walked and see other people's lightstick (?) get snatched by the people that were approaching in the opposite direction. At the end of the run, my hair was like EW and my shoes and socks were like so stained from the paint. The paseo wipes did help a lot in the cleaning up although when I reached home, I had a super tough time getting the paint out of my hair. The trip on the way back was super upsetting for me cos of some stuff which made me feel like I wasn't pretty enough and wasn't good enough. But then again, that incident has passed so I shall let it float awayyyyyy ~

'Come let's take a photo !'

Started working at Jcafe on the 20th. It was exciting and the people there are super nice though ! The fun part is getting to work with Yiroon and Hamsley since one was my boyfriend at that point of time and the other is a friend that I know. The job is quite tiring though because we had to be on our feet for like a whole 10 hours or so and when there are a lot of customers, it's quite hard to get things going fast. Customers there are usually golfers so they are quite cocky ? Some are rather impatient but some are quite nice too ! Always afraid that there would be CAT 1 cos that's when all the golfers start coming in to eat since they are unable to play golf cos of the weather. Still, I think it was quite enjoyable cos the people there are generally nice and helpful unlike those that I met while I was working in Jpot. Yuheng is one of the nicest colleagues that I've met, she's always so helpful and always smiling. She's like an older sister to me. The aunty in the kitchen is also very nice, always so willing to talk to me when there's no customers. It's also quite funny how most of us don't like Dong Xia hahahaha cos she always call people to do things when she can do it herself and she's always finding time to be lazy and always giving a shitload of excuses. Well, I'm not working there anymore though. Stopped on the 15th of December.

Yay last day hehehehehe

So, here comes the bad part, on the 17th of December, at night, we broke up. I was honestly shocked when he asked for the break up cos I never expected that. To be very honest, I have never thought of a break up. No matter how tough things may get, I would still try my best to work every single shit out and make the relationship work. Because what's a relationship without quarrels right ? There will be fights and lots of shit stuff in the relationship that will make one feel like giving up and all but what kept me going was remembering the good times and also holding on because I still love him. However, for him, it was a different case. People ask, isn't there a chance that you guys might get back tgt ? Well, I guess not ? At that point of time, I did ask if we can get back tgt or if there's any other way out but he was insistent on the break so what else can I do ? I didn't want to beg any further.

On the 18th, I left for Muar for a mission trip, I woke up in the morning feeling like shit because of what happened the night before. Everything seemed so different. I did think of just not going for the mission trip but I told myself  'I can't let this affect me. Or at least, hide everything inside until it's okay to let it all out. I can't let this affect what's God going o do through me. Just fake a smile and go for it.'  So that was what I did. Until we boarded the bus and I couldn't hold it on any longer. I started crying and they asked me what happened. As I told them, I cried even harder. The pain I felt was so real I just couldn't take it anymore. Caleb, the trip's leader, realised something was wrong and he asked me as well. Sigh, it was so painful. After awhile, I just told myself to not cry anymore, I need to be strong for at least this 4 days. The first day of the trip was quite okay, nothing much. Gave out flyers to invite people for the church services. I was shocked by how the people there were so friendly and so open to stuff like this. In Singapore, people would just reject you straight up. They wouldn't even want to listen to whatever you have to say. However people in Muar were really open and I'm thankful for that. The second day was fun ! I was in charge of the children's group together with Faith. A problem occurred though, cos we were supposed to talk about The Prodigal Son first but we found out that the message wasn't translated into chinese yet so we had to talk about Jonah and the big whale first. I guess it was a blessing in disguise ? Because after we shared that story, it was lunch time and when the children came back from lunch, they were abit restless. So we got them to do the crafts first before proceeding with The Prodigal Son bible message. The kids were quite tired at that point of time so they were like restless and didn't really catch the story but it's okay, I guess the story of Jonah and the big whale would be what I really hope they would know of because that's the typical bible story for kids. I really didn't expect the kids to remember any of the stories that I've shared because well kids being kids would normally forget what they've heard after awhile however I was shocked. During the debrief at night, I found out that when the pastor were sending the kids home, they were talking excitedly about the stories that I've shared and they remembered every single detail. I was so happy and yes, all glory goes to God for giving me the energy and the creativity to come up with actions for the story so that the kids would understand better. On the third day, we went to the old folks home. Talked to the elderly people there and we sang for them as well ! I still remember that there was this uncle who was on a wheelchair and he was playing music out loud from his radio. He was so cheerful. He lost a limb and he still could be so happy. That's one thing I really admire about him. He's living his life so happily and with such joy even though he can't walk. There's also this old aunty who was 90 plus years old and she was smiling the whole time ! She was like super happy and super joyful. She even 'danced' while we were singing songs for them. I also got the opportunity to pray for this old uncle who injured his arm from a fall. Though I was nervous because I didn't know how to pray in chinese, I still did and I hope my simple prayer for him did help ! Layyeng, Laymei and I also went to sing a song for this uncle who was alone in a room. He was tearing and he sincerely thanked us after we finished. His tears actually make me felt so touched because I knew that he genuinely was thankful for whatever we've done at that place. After visiting the old folks home, we went for lunch and then back to the hotel. We had time to dye our hair before our next activity so Matthew and I went to dye our hair. I was super happy with the service because the hairstylist did not just stop at dying my hair, he even curled it for me as well ! Plus the colour turned out to be super bright which was what I wanted so I was super happy with it ! Then went to Emmanuel church where we had to hold a kids service for the children there. I was leading worship together with Matthew. A little nervous at the start but I was glad that everything went well. Though the kids there were super playful and naughty, we still had a fun time holding a service for them. On that night, we played bluff until super late and we laughed so much until our stomachs hurt. And damn, faith and I woke up late the next day so oops hehehe. Anyways, on the last day, we had to facilitate half of the service for the congregation of Parit Jawa Church. Again, I was leading worship with Matthew. It was quite nerve-wrecking cos I had to tell the people to flip to the different pages of the different books, And plus, I had to speak in chinese. However, God really did help and we did a great job. All glory to Him ! At last, it was time to leave and I was quite sad because I had so much fun in Muar especially with the kids and I really don't want to leave the simple lifestyle in Muar. We said our goodbyes and boarded the bus back to the hotel to take our bags to leave for customs. I promise that I will go back next year if I can.

[ Eliz's pose ]

AHHH KIDS ^^

GROUP PHOTO :D

Christmas was well spent in church and at my cousin's house with all the good food and little nieces running around ! Raelyn grew up so fast and she can talk now ! Plus she's super cute and now allows me to carry her already (: Julia also all grown up and can walk ! Anthea also grown up and super cute now ^^ Can't wait till they grow older !

Then, thanksgiving service in church ! THERE WAS FREE ICE CREAM AND IT WAS SO GOOD !!!!!! Salted Caramel ice cream is super good, I LOVE IT :p Nothing much about thanksgiving service so yeah :3

ML30 ^^

The girls (:

New Year's Eve was spent at my cousin's new house where we had super good food and CHOCOLATE FONDUE !!!! Ah Mei Jie Jie also brought her old clothes for us to choose and bring home, there was too many clothes like AHHHH hahaha ! Got some really nice clothes back though hehehehe :3

Went for Miss Ong's wedding on 3rd Jan and guess what omg I WOKE UP LATE ): Was supposed to meet Jam at tmart at 10am but I woke up at 10:03am AHHHH ! Rushed like mad and waiting for a cab for super long ! Hahahaha oh yeah, wore the dress that Yiroon bought for me, was super conscious about my belly though cos I'm fat so I kept using my bag to cover hehehe :3 Although they all said that I looked fine and can't see the fats but ahhh I too insecure la huh. Hahaha Miss Ong's wedding was super nice though. She was super pretty and she got emotional and cried while saying the vows aww ): AND OMG HER SISTER LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE HER !!!!! Her sister was one of the bridesmaids and when she was walking in, I thought she was Miss Ong cos they look so alike !!!!! Hahaha anyway the whole wedding ceremony ended pretty fast and we took photos with the pretty bride and handsome grooom ! But it's sad cos we didn't go for the photo booth and I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A DESSERT TABLE T.T but nvm..... Then went to Francesca house after that and we ate lunch and played dance central after that ! Her baby brother is super cute though !!!! *.* Can't wait to play with him when I go over to her house again tmr !!!!

So yeah, that's all that I have to share with all of you :3 Actually, my dayre would be more active because I post stuff there almost every single day and all my deep hidden feelings are there too so yeah :3 Here's the link : dayre.me/shann_t (:

Thank you to those who've taken time to read this blog post cos it's like SUPER LONG ! Hahaha have a great day ahead ^^