Hey.

Hey guys.

I just needed somewhere to rant and just let all my feelings out. Hopefully I would feel better. And so, we kinda fought huh. And that sucks so bad. Especially when we fight over two things. For the first one, I have absolutely no idea that you would get so angry over this. Well, it's my fault (?) Idk man. I alr told you that I would be leaving school, I honestly didn't know that you were still having oral. I saw your friends and so I thought you finished alr. Also, I was in a rush that's why I left. You said I should have waited for you to end and tell you before I left, well, maybe I should have. I'm sorry. I just didn't want to waste time. And also, I would feel bad if I asked Noreen to wait with me for you. But at least I bothered to borrow a friend's phone and inform you instead of just leaving without saying a single thing. Even after I finished buying whatever I needed to buy, I still called you to see if you were still in school so I could find you. At least I bothered, right ?

Well, then it's okay, put all the blame on me. It's my fault, all my fault. Then while we were quarreling, you went to talk to another girl ? Of course I wasn't happy. And you seemed so happy when you were talking to her, that's the worst thing. Why out of all times did you go and talk to her ? Ya I am damn bloody sensitive and insecure and shit. I wouldn't really be that upset if you talk to girls normally but not when we're on such bad terms and when we're quarreling ? Ugh idk man. Do you get it ?

How many times must we quarrel ? How many ? Honestly, I feel so tired and so upset. Why must all these shit happen ? I've been trying my best to keep all this going and to just be the best for you. I've been trying. Every single time you're sad, I try my best to cheer you up. You may wonder why I get angry at you when you don't sleep. It's because when you don't, the next day you'll be very tired and very very moody. And this will affect us. Don't you get it ? I've been trying my best to encourage you in your studies. I wrote you notes and even bought you something along with that note. I hope you see that I'm really trying. Sometimes I wonder why you don't do the same back to me... Yeah maybe I shouldn't expect so much. Maybe I should just give without expecting to recieve the same treatment. It's okay man. I'm still gonna keep trying and giving my best. Even though at times I really really really feel like giving up because I'm so hurt and I'm so tired, I still press on and tell myself not to give up. I think about those wonderful memories we had before and I believe that one day they'll all come back to us. I'm still not giving up.

That's it for this blog post. Bye.

Hello (:

Hello everyone !

Sorry for not blogging for so long because I've been either busy or just lazy, hehehe.

Mid Years are over and hais, I'm so disappointed with my results. Especially for my physics and humanities paper because I really studied hard for those papers and the results I got were pure shit. I didn't do as well for chinese as well, I've gotta start working harder, I want to do well for Os.

Anyways, today was our Career Guidance Seminar day. I was a little tired so I almost slept during the different capsules but luckily, I didn't. First capsule I went to was Business & Accountancy and I thought it was pretty cool but I don't think I'll be choosing that as one of my choices for Poly. Oh right, I really want to go to a Poly, preferably Temasek Poly because it's near to my house and they have good courses provided there, or at least, courses that I like and would want to go for. So my second capsule was Hospitality & Tourism. I've always thought of wanting to work in resorts or just places where there are many attractions because it's fun and I get to work with people. During this capsule, I found out that there is also one course called Leisure & Resort Management and when the lecturer was talking about this course, I knew in my mind that I would put this course as one of my 12 choices because it seemed quite fun and I would get to work as an intern at resorts and all that so I really like this course. Then my third capsule was Sports, Health & Leisure. I kinda regretted going for this one, I didn't know why I picked this one. Should have gone for Aviation Management because I wouldn't mind working as a cabin crew and also in the airport, again, getting to work with people. Luckily Noreen went for that one and she told me some stuff about Aviation Management and it's pretty cool so yay, that might be one of my choices as well !

Moving on to talking about another thing. This few days have been like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs. So many things going on and I really felt like giving up at certain points but I keep pushing on because I know that at the end of all these, I would find it all worth it. Things between us haven't been going well recently and I'm really sad and hurt because I never want this to happen. Honestly, I keep feeling like I'm annoying you in some way or another. I'm very insecure and I keep getting the feeling that I'm always not good enough. I'm scared that one day you'll find someone better or you'll go back to liking your previous crush or whatever. I'm so damn scared of losing you because you mean that much to me, I hope you understand. Hais, but yeah. I really hope that this episode of 'arguments' and getting angry at each other would go past fast because I want us to be like last time, happy when we're together. I'm not giving up on you, I will still continue trying my best to make everything go well and I'll continue trying to give in and of course, I would still continue loving you.

So this is it for this blog post. Thanks for reading you guys. Have a great night ! Bye (: