05/04/15

A little love,

A little encouragement,

Goes a long long way. 

Especially at times like this when I need it the most,

There's none at all. 

Where are you ?

Insecurities.

(( this post contains vulgar content ))

It sucks though.
Sometimes like quick sand.
You struggle  to deal with it, and it just pulls you in deeper.
I often ask myself,
"Why so insecure leh ?"
"Why find it so hard to be confident ?"
"Just be yourself la."
I tried, I really did.
But it still affects me a hell lot.
And I wonder how the heck did my insecurities get so bad ?
I used to be fine.
I used to be so happy with everything in my life.
Everything also happy-go-lucky., don't care one.
What the heck happened ?
I thought to myself, what could make this better ?
These insecurities need to stop because it's affecting every aspect of my life.
But how ?
When people's actions show that you aren't worth anything.
When people couldn't give two shits about you.
When all they do is just judge and talk shit about you.
Then I ask myself,
Why the fuck do I depend on others for self worth ?
Fuck this.
I'll learn to deal with this in time.
I'll just be my own source of encouragement.
I'll get better at this.
I also do need to learn to give less fucks.
No one cares about how you feel.
Not even the people whom you care a lot for.
So why the heck get so bothered by their words right ?
Idk why I'm so upset when I talk about this.
It's just been bothering me.
Ugh.
So done.
Goodbye.